In corona times, it is important to keep your mood upbeat! So maybe some humor can help to forget from time to time the daily negative news we hear?
All this, while improving your Greek of course 🙂
Let us introduce you to well-loved Greek stand-up comedian, actor and screenwriter Lambros Fisfis. Fisfis has gained in popularity thanks to his ability to turn mundane everyday situations into an endless source of laughter through his sarcasm and expressiveness.
He first became known to the Greek audience through the TV series «Η Γενιά των 592 ευρώ» (“The 592 euro generation”) and has since made himself into a household name in the local comedy scene with appearances on TV, radio, national tours as well as shows abroad.
Here below an abstract from his stand-up comedy act «Να Ένας Σοφός» (“Here comes a wise man”). Fisfis, who has been married for a while now, talks about how when a couple lives together, house chores are divided in a very specific way with some tasks being clearly… a man’s business – the list will surprise you. Listen and read along to find out for yourself how funny he is!
However, as most comedians, also Lambros speaks very fast!
Do not worry, we will make it easier for you!
Click here if you want to read the text in Greek, so you can listen to the video first and then read the Greek text, or vice versa. 😊
For those just starting to learn Greek, below you read the English “free translation“ in English, of his monologue.
TRANSLATION IN ENGLISH
There are some basic things when you live together. Everyone knows that they need to help with the house chores. One of the man’s responsibilities is that they need to go and check when they hear strange noises in the middle of the night. This is a man’s job.
You’re about to fall asleep, then you hear a noise… and your partner looks at you and says, “What was this?”
“I don’t know.”
“Go have a look.”
“Why?” “Because it might be a thief, Lambros.”
So I replied, “if it’s a thief, maybe we should stay still, pretend that we’re asleep so that they can steal everything but do not kill us?”
“No, go have a look.”
“Why me though?”
“Because I took the trash out, Lambros.”
This is how we split house chores. She takes the trash out, I’m getting shot. Sounds fair.
“If it’s a thief, what should I do?”
“Kick him out.”
Kick him out? Me? If I see a thief taking away the TV, I’ll probably volunteer to help him. Ask them if they want a coffee because they look tired from all the stealing.
This is why I like Americans. In the movies, Americans always have a baseball bat under their bed. If they hear a noise in the middle of the night, they grab the baseball bat and they’re ready to fight. This is their national sport after all, right? What are Greeks supposed to do? Our national sport is playing backgammon. Am I to sleep with a backgammon board under my bed and challenge the thieves to play against me? You lose, you get out thief!
This is a man’s job, but it’s not the only one. Another man’s job is to kill the insects that get into the house. This is a man’s job but in most cases, it’s women who find the insects, which does not make sense. The woman is in the bathroom, she sees a cockroach and screams. The man runs to see what’s happening but cannot understand what his wife is saying. It’s not her normal voice. It’s so high pitched It feels like she’s trying to contact dolphins or F16 airplanes.
You run into the bathroom in panic and ask ‘honey, what happened?’
[Makes incomprehensible sounds.]
I don’t understand what you’re saying.
[Makes incomprehensible sounds.]
And to be honest, when a woman asks you to kill an insect it goes to your head. You like the idea. You feel more manly. You walk into the bathroom like you’re Rambo. You don’t open the door, you kick it. You turn around and say something cool like “baby, turn around, you don’t want to see what I’m going to do.” Then you turn to look at the cockroach and you say to it, “now it’s the two of us.”
No matter how manly you are, there’s nothing scarier though than seeing that the cockroach is about to fly. It looks you into the eye and says, “Activating wings. Fly mode is ON.” This is even when the guy runs away telling his wife…
If you see a cockroach flying, you simply close the bathroom door and say “this room belongs to the cockroach now. We’ll go use the bathroom at the nearby cafe.” Once a month, you throw the utility bills under the door and tell the cockroach, “Now that you live here, you need to pay bills as well.”
There is, though, something that is even worse: when you kill a cockroach and then you go to get some kitchen tissue to clean up, but the cockroach is no longer there. So, you just freeze on that spot for a couple of hours. You’re petrified because you know that it knows where you live and that it has gone to its nest and it is coming back with reinforcements.
What do you think? Do you like Greek humor?
Now that you started listening to the everyday Greek language, there is more…
Click below to download the FREE eBook with more Greek humor by Fifis.